Give the Nasty Voice in Your Head a Name + Persona

Your rec request did not go unnoticed and I so felt you when I saw it and meant to respond right away. Hope the mean voice has died down by now. She/he/they/it/pronoun-of-your-choice can be such a little bitch.

As it turns out, I help women manage their negative self talk for a living, and yet, just as I saw this request the other night, I had texted my bff the following message:

"You know when you self-sabotage and it’s like you’re watching yourself from the outside doing it in real time?"

To which she responded: "Daily." Which is why she is my best friend.

It takes a lifetime of practice to remember that we are human and that mean voice, and the directives it gives us, is trying to protect us. In doing so, she/he/they/it/pronoun-of-your-choice makes us think and play so small, which is what I did the other night. To soothe myself, I drove straight to my friend's house, where she had Swedish Fish waiting for me, and we streamed John Oliver and laughed.

Sharon Salzberg is such an OG resource when it comes to self-compassion and managing the voice. Hope her words and suggestions help a bit. Give the mean voice a name. Get creative with personifying it, so much so that you can picture her/him/them/it/pronoun-of-your-choice when you hear it and recognize it as something totally different from your true self.

Or call a friend who loves you, warts and all. And watch John Oliver, and laugh, and eat Swedish Fish.